The Mourning Ladders  The Rope Ladder's function as a spirit road and connection to the threads of Fate make it especially well-suited to mourning and funeral customs. Among those of the Old Religion, it is likely that a person's burial shroud would have been bound with their own Cord or Ladder, demonstrating their abilities as well as providing the means to ascend through the Realms. While trying to revive that custom in our practices would be awkward and forced, the appropriateness of the Ladder to funeral customs remains, and has been adapted to suit our current needs in Metista, with a bit of help from Inspiration. 
Keeping the Count During the nine day period of mourning, a small Funeral Ladder can be tied as a counter, one knot for each day. With the tying of each knot a prayer is fastened; a prayer for safe passage, a prayer to ease the process of separation, and a prayer of release, for both the dead, and the bereaved -- a prayer that the living will not hold any part of the spirit of the dead here on this earth, and to prevent any part of our own spirits from attempting to accompany the dead along their journey, in our grief. Such a Ladder can be wound unobtrusively around the wrist or ankle throughout the nine days, as a reminder of the nature of the never-ending spiral of life and death, as a reminder of our connection to each other as Metista, despite our physical distance, as a show of respect, and eventually, as a signal to others of a time of mourning. Black would seem the most appropriate and practical color for this particular application, although it conceivably could be combine with other colors specific to the traditions of the person who has passed. At the close of the time of mourning, the Funeral Ladder should be released to the Mother -- either hung from a tree limb, released into a river or creek, or flung into the wind off of a cliff into the ocean. A slightly different but beautiful alternative application is to keep the count on a full sized corded ladder, tied to the limb of a special tree, reaching from ground to sky. In the front of a house, it could serve the same purpose as the now-neglected custom of a black mourning wreath. In a wilderness area, it's easy to imagine a small wooded grove filled with these Ladders, walked by the ancestors - what a truly sacred space this would create! 
Memorial Ladders
Another form of mourning ladder serves as a sort of memorial, and would be appropriate on the anniversary of a persons death, or some other time of peaceful remembrance, rather than during active grieving. Instead of being tied in simple black, it might be tied of colors that evoke the persons memory, whether reflective of their personality, their favorite clothing, or from colors that are meaningful to them personally, perhaps symbolic within a religious or spiritual tradition. Charms can be tied into the knots as well, symbols of animals, stone beads or crystals, feathers, buttons from a uniform, christening or wedding gown, small photos of loved ones, initials of loved ones; anything that was dear to the person, tokens of memories or meanings you would wish to send with them to treasure. It might even be tied from twisted scraps of favorite clothing. Whatever materials go into it, the finished Ladder should encapsulate the memory of your relationship: everything you've treasured and valued about their presence in your life, and your time with them. Although the basic Ladder pattern is suggested, there is room for personal interpretation for this application, as is demonstrated in the example of a charmed ladder in the link below. After completion, the Ladder can be gifted as an offering or gift to the person's spirit, or a gaurdian spirit, perhaps left at the person's grave, or at one of their favorite spots. Alternatively, if you have fully released the person emotionally, and can recognize that an 'offered' item is no longer "yours" but belongs to the Spirits and the OtherRealms, you might hang such ladders from a staff or branch above an altar, as a reminder of their continued influence on your life. 
Knots of Grief
(concept credited to Sylvanus) Overwhelming feelings of grief and loss can leave us feeling 'tied up,' as though our insides are knotted and bound. This practice is intended to help release those bound up emotions and the spirits that influence them. It can be done anywhere, at anytime; indoors or outdoors, in silence or with music blaring, in whatever environment, and with whatever aids, such as music, or a rattle or drum sound, a photograph, perfume or incense that helps you bring the emotions to the surface. You'll need a length of cording about equal to your height, made from a material that is solid or tightly woven, rather than individual strands twisted together. Begin by folding it in half. Tie two knots, one on each end, so that a fairly good sized loop is formed at one end, and a sort of tassel at the other. Be sure the loop is about twice the size it would take to pass the knotted tassel end through it. Holding the cord in your hands, the situation in your mind, and your emotions in your heart, start tying knots along the length of the doubled cord. The recommended method is to start from the bottom (tassel) and work up to the top (the loop), but you may choose to follow the standard Ladder pattern (available at the link below), or you may find yourself putting knots any and everywhere, even on top of each other, as the spirit moves you. As you hold the cord, imaging pushing the emotions out of you, and into the cord, binding them there with each knot. Allow the emotions to well up without restraint or shame, flowing from your body and soul, down into your arms, and out into the knots. Don't be disturbed or ashamed by unexpected feelings; grief is usually accompanied by feelings of anger, resentment, and fear. You may find yourself sobbing, or jerking on the cord angrily... don't be concerned with the emotions. Just let them flow into the cord, and bind them into the knots. When the emotions are spent, you'll feel a bit of a relief, and perhaps exhaustion. Thread the tassel through the loop, creating a circle, representing the cycles of emotions that depression, anger, grief and fear tend to run in. Pull the cord all the way through the loop, until the circle vanishes, ending the cycle. Now it's time to start back down the Ladder, untying the knots as you go. As the knots are released, the emotions are freed, and can be visualized traveling up the ladder, to return to their homes in the Otherworlds. (be sure to leave the end knots for last; they provide the ladder its necessary structure.) It may take a bit of persistence, to work out some of the tighter knots. This is why it's recommended that you use a solid or tightly woven cord, because smaller bundled strands make the untying process much more difficult, especially if you've jerked it hard during the tying. Once the emotional knots are undone, release the two end knots, tassel first, and then the loop. This removes the ladder, so the emotions cannot travel back down it, to return to you. The cord, representing any remnants of the bound emotions, should be released as well, either to the wind, by tying it to a tree or pole, or letting it fly off of a cliff, or to a moving body of water, a river, ocean or stream. Although this practice was conceived as a way of expressing and releasing grief, it can be applied to any overpowering and often binding emotions, including rage, fear, jealousy, and so forth. Thoughts and Graphics by StarrHawke |
Pro la memorado de La Terrato.
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• Metista In Practice•
•The Knotted Ladder• • Memorial Practices•
This page and all of its contents are: Copyright © 1999-2004: Joseph B. Wilson and StarrHawke,, All Rights Reserved
Email the authors at: metista@metista.com
